My deepest apologies for the irregularities with the posts. I was really busy with exams and ah, forget it. Excuses won’t do. It’s a nasty habit of mine to find excuses for shirking responsibilities, so yes, it’s my fault for not making time and posting nearly a day late. I’m sorry.
Today’s post is dark and depressing, which kinda goes against my relief of exams ending. I recently dug up a book I read more than two years ago. It had quite an impact on me back then because it exposed the naive, spoiled me to a world of suffering and misery. It’s “A Thousand Splendid Suns” written by Khalid Hosseini. The book portrays the bleak situation of women in Afghanistan under the rule of the Taliban , and how their spirit is indomitable.
More than a review, its probably more of a commentary and my own personal thoughts on women and I was worried that people would stray away since this topic has been done to death, but I don’t think you can ever speak too much about oppression.
It’s pretty explicit, violent and sad. I remember being horrified when I read it. So its not exactly an easy read.
The book is divided into four parts, the first two are about two women living in Afghanistan belonging to different generations respectively. Circumstances force them together and the third part is about them relying on each other during hard times and the fourth one is about them going their separate ways.
Two women are the main characters in the story. Mariam, who is the first lead and the protagonist in part 1. She was born as an illegitimate child or as they say it, Harami. Her father was a rich man and he built her and her mother a small hut-like place to live in outside the city. As we can see, Mariam is cursed to not only be born as a woman, but as an illegitimate child as well. Her father, Jalil comes to visit every week and she yearns for his affection. Her mother is a bitter woman who spites Jalil. Anyway long story short, events force Mariam to marry a man named Rasheed who is several years older than her.
Things seem good at first, but after she suffers a miscarriage, Rasheed loses interest in her until he finally begins abusing her. The first time is when he spits out the food she cooked and makes her eat stones which crushes her teeth.
The second part is about Laila who has a far more privileged upbringing than Mariam. The story is set in the backdrop of the Soviet Invasion and the rise of the Taliban. Laila’s brothers have gone to fight against the Soviets and her mother’s affections are focused only on them making Laila feel lonely. Her father dotes on her and wants her to study hard. There’s also a budding romance between her and Tariq, her neighbour.
Bad things happen and her home is attacked by a stray bomb. She is taken in as the second wife of Rasheed when they find her and take care of her.
Anyway, I won’t go too much into that. But consider this, both Mariam and Laila are hardly 15 or 16 years old when this happens.
The book made me go research on the rule of the Taliban and the situation of the women there and it haunted me for days. No education, no freedom, no life. Women are at the mercy of men. Even now, things have not changed much. Women had to stay home at all times and when they were out, had to be accompanied by a man. They were not allowed to wear cosmetics or laugh in public. They had to wear a Hijab at all times. There were many more rules that came with this but failure to comply would result in getting beaten or worse.
This was a story I recently read. It didn’t happen in Afghanistan but just imagine, she is seventeen.
All these women are property, toys to be manipulated in any way the men like, and if the toys don’t work properly, they are cast aside or defaced.
Husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles-they aren’t relatives. They’re owners. It’s so frightening. I can’t imagine what these women go through everyday. Raped, beaten, tortured, mutilated and failure to comply allows state sponsored executions.
One thing I loved about the book is the ending. I won’t spoil it but it’s a hopeful one. Despite everything Mariam and Laila go through, they still have hope for the future. They still want to find happiness. Their wonderful relationship, similar to that of a mother and her daughter is very poignant. It’s as if they have both been abducted by Rasheed, and the only people they can depend on is each other.
“Like a compass needle that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman”
These are lines said in the first chapter, and you realize how depressingly true it is throughout the novel. It’s unfathomable to someone like me who has been living the fortunate life that I have.
When I read stories and news reports like this, I realize what the true meaning of being a second class citizen is. Although I’ve always believed it to be unimaginable, I shudder sometimes to think how easy it would have been for the arrow of fate to have turned a completely different direction. How easy it would have been for me to have been born as one of these women, and how all my feminism would have been complete bullshit.
Why only Afghanistan? These things happen closer to home. I hear of girls as young as 12 being sold into prostitution in the name of religion in Karnataka. There must be Khap Panchayats also who dictate rules similar to the Taliban. I could have been born as one of these women who have no future, who live at the mercy or men and who are real second class citizens.
It makes me recognize that I don’t really have much to worry about. It makes me see how biased feminism is (although I do call myself a feminist). It makes me feel ashamed that women as privileged as me have a voice and are able to complain and seek justice when these women aren’t. Suddenly my complains and woes as a woman seem so trite, so childish, so insulting compared to the state these women live in.
Feminism really is an educated, urban woman’s tool. Only a woman who has opportunities is able to make use of it. Feminists don’t make any sort of rage for these women, and it’s unbelievably sad.
When I read this book, I remember feeling so guilty. These women would give anything to have the opportunities I do and lead the life I do, and what’s more they would use those opportunities to the fullest extent. They would put in all their effort if they had that choice. But they don’t. I do. And I behave so frivolously with these choices, not realizing what a blessing it is to be born as I am. I complain about stupid things, and even talk about discrimination. Looking at these women, I seem like such a joke to be talking of discrimination.
What I’m trying to say is, everyone should read this book, men as well. Everyone needs to understand what’s happening in our world, and how people are being treated. We need to remind ourselves of how fortunate we are and put our petty concerns away, because really, we’re all pretty lucky to even be reading stuff like this on a computer screen.
Mango Mustache 