Some Things Will Never Change (Yay!)

TGIF!

I think as human beings all of us look forward to embracing comfort and familiarity, things that trigger certain memories or are simply a constant through our lives, be it the taste of a particular dish your mother makes or a hug from your grandfather.  Even certain places can bring back great memories of good times with family and friends, and for me it would most definitely be the Bangalore Club. I visited the club today and was hit by a massive wave of nostalgia as soon as I entered, a plethora of good memories swimming through my head.

The Bangalore Club was founded in 1868 and its previous members have included personalities like Winston Churchill, whose name can be seen in a ledger on display in the lobby listing those with ‘irrecoverable debts’, stating Churchill owed the club Rs 13.  Prince Charles actually offered to pay the debt during his visit to the club a few years ago, but the club insisted it wasn’t necessary. The club was built with colonial elements and has an elegance which is born of history and tradition.

I first visited Bangalore Club when I was just a month old and my grandparents had just received their permanent membership (my parents are still on the 30-year long waiting list with 7 years to go). My grandfather tells me we had gone for Sunday lunch to the club and thus began the tradition in our family of visiting the club every other weekend. Sunday lunch remains my favourite thing about Bangalore club because it boasts a wide range of foods the club is famous for, like it’s chilly chicken, egg paratha, kebabs and biryani. Add a live band and the atmosphere is relaxed and fun, full of talk, laughter and reunions with fellow members and their families. You’ll also spot a Bangalorean celebrity or two if you get lucky.  The club also has a very famous ‘masala peanuts’ starter which most patrons love to have during the evenings on the green lawn with a drink.

The words ‘we’re going to Bangalore Club’ are enough to brighten up my day, no matter what headaches I have in life, and I know for those few hours I can relax with my family, people-watch, gossip, eat and forget about the outside world for a while. I think the best thing about Bangalore Club is how it allows you to forget the outside world, yet channels a vibe that is so completely Bangalore, that you never forget the city you’re in. Yes so the club is a little old-fashioned and strict, but then again its charm lies in the very fact that it keeps up to its reputation as one of the oldest clubs in Bangalore, and in India. That and the fact that it has some of the best caramel custard pudding ever #yum.

http://instagram.com/p/fDXKf2O3ik/

It’s wonderful how every visit of mine to Bangalore, may it be long or brief, has included visiting this establishment. Now that I live here, the visits to the club have increased and I couldn’t be happier. It’s also the few occasions that I get to dress up so that makes each visit extra special. I also love how our family gathers there from all around Bangalore, making the club a proverbial watering-hole of sorts. My aunt and uncle, cousins, parents, brother, grandparents; everyone makes time for a meal at Bangalore Club and it’s the perfect excuse to break away from work and gorge on Indian junk food and basically just escape from everything that makes you want to cry.

So do leave a comment below and let me know about a place/dish/person who comforts you and brings back great memories. You can also email me at mangomustacheblog@gmail.com if you have any questions or submissions of your own. We’ll be happy to feature you on Mango Mustache as a guest blogger during the weekend. 🙂

-Ridz

A Thousand Silenced Voices

My deepest apologies for the irregularities with the posts. I was really busy with exams and ah, forget it. Excuses won’t do. It’s a nasty habit of mine to find excuses for shirking responsibilities, so yes, it’s my fault for not making time and posting nearly a day late. I’m sorry.

Today’s post is dark and depressing, which kinda goes against my relief of exams ending. I recently dug up a book I read more than two years ago. It had quite an impact on me back then because it exposed the naive, spoiled me to a world of suffering and misery. It’s “A Thousand Splendid Suns” written by Khalid Hosseini. The book portrays the bleak situation of women in Afghanistan under the rule of the Taliban , and how their spirit is indomitable.

More than a review, its probably more of a commentary and my own personal thoughts on women and I was worried that people would stray away since this topic has been done to death, but I don’t think you can ever speak too much about oppression.

It’s pretty explicit, violent and sad. I remember being horrified when I read it. So its not exactly an easy read.

The book is divided into four parts, the first two are about two women living in Afghanistan belonging to different generations respectively. Circumstances force them together and the third part is about them relying on each other during hard times and the fourth one is about them going their separate ways.

Two women are the main characters in the story. Mariam, who is the first lead and the protagonist in part 1. She was born as an illegitimate child or as they say it, Harami. Her father was a rich man and he built her and her mother a small hut-like place to live in outside the city. As we can see, Mariam is cursed to not only be born as a woman, but as an illegitimate child as well. Her father, Jalil comes to visit every week and she yearns for his affection. Her mother is a bitter woman who spites Jalil. Anyway long story short, events force Mariam to marry a man named Rasheed who is several years older than her.

Things seem good at first, but after she suffers a miscarriage, Rasheed loses interest in her until he finally begins abusing her. The first time is when he spits out the food she cooked and makes her eat stones which crushes her teeth.

The second part is about Laila who has a far more privileged upbringing than Mariam. The story is set in the backdrop of the Soviet Invasion and the rise of the Taliban. Laila’s brothers have gone to fight against the Soviets and her mother’s affections are focused only on them making Laila feel lonely. Her father dotes on her and wants her to study hard. There’s also a budding romance between her and Tariq, her neighbour.

Bad things happen and her home is attacked by a stray bomb. She is taken in as the second wife of Rasheed when they find her and take care of her.

Anyway, I won’t go too much into that. But consider this, both Mariam and Laila are hardly 15 or 16 years old when this happens.

The book made me go research on the rule of the Taliban and the situation of the women there and it haunted me for days. No education, no freedom, no life. Women are at the mercy of men. Even now, things have not changed much. Women had to stay home at all times and when they were out, had to be accompanied by a man. They were not allowed to wear cosmetics or laugh in public. They had to wear a Hijab at all times. There were many more rules that came with this but failure to comply would result in getting beaten or worse.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2304322/Gul-Meena-struck-15-times-axe-BROTHER-honour-killing-attempt-wishes-died-day.html

This was a story I recently read. It didn’t happen in Afghanistan but just imagine, she is seventeen.

All these women are property, toys to be manipulated in any way the men like, and if the toys don’t work properly, they are cast aside or defaced.

Husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles-they aren’t relatives. They’re owners. It’s so frightening. I can’t imagine what these women go through everyday. Raped, beaten, tortured, mutilated and failure to comply allows state sponsored executions.

One thing I loved about the book is the ending. I won’t spoil it but it’s a hopeful one. Despite everything Mariam and Laila go through, they still have hope for the future. They still want to find happiness. Their wonderful relationship, similar to that of a mother and her daughter is very poignant. It’s as if they have both been abducted by Rasheed, and the only people they can depend on is each other.

“Like a compass needle that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman”

These are lines said in the first chapter, and  you realize how depressingly true it is throughout the novel. It’s unfathomable to someone like me who has been living the fortunate life that I have.

When I read stories and news reports like this, I realize what the true meaning of being a second class citizen is. Although I’ve always believed it to be unimaginable, I shudder sometimes to think how easy it would have been for the arrow of fate to have turned a completely different direction. How easy it would have been for me to have been born as one of these women, and how all my feminism would have been complete bullshit.

Why only Afghanistan? These things happen closer to home. I hear of girls as young as 12 being sold into prostitution in the name of religion in Karnataka. There must be Khap Panchayats also who dictate rules similar to the Taliban. I could have been born as one of these women who have no future, who live at the mercy or men and who are real second class citizens.

It makes me recognize that I don’t really have much to worry about. It makes me see how biased feminism is (although I do call myself a feminist). It makes me feel ashamed that women as privileged as me have a voice and are able to complain and seek justice when these women aren’t. Suddenly my complains and woes as a woman seem so trite, so childish, so insulting compared to the state these women live in.

Feminism really is an educated, urban woman’s tool. Only a woman who has opportunities is able to make use of it. Feminists don’t make any sort of rage for these women, and it’s unbelievably sad.

When I read this book, I remember feeling so guilty. These women would give anything to have the opportunities I do and lead the life I do, and what’s more they would use those opportunities to the fullest extent. They would put in all their effort if they had that choice. But they don’t. I do. And I behave so frivolously with these choices, not realizing what a blessing it is to be born as I am. I complain about stupid things, and even talk about discrimination. Looking at these women, I seem like such a joke to be talking of discrimination.

What I’m trying to say is, everyone should read this book, men as well. Everyone needs to understand what’s happening in our world, and how people  are being treated. We need to remind ourselves of how fortunate we are and put our petty concerns away, because really, we’re all pretty lucky to even be reading stuff like this on a computer screen.

Movie Night And My Love For Tom Hiddleston

First of all I would like to apologize for how late I’m posting. I’ve been having some issues with my internet lately, and that combined with exams are annoying the Friday spirit out of me. : (

In any case, TGIF!

Since I’m posting late, I’ll tell you about my plans for the evening. It’s exam season and instead of studying I am at my parents’ place treating myself to a movie and a pizza since they will be out to dinner. With Dominoes Pizza to the rescue, the only thing I have left to worry about is which movie to watch. Now when I’m by myself, I usually enjoy watching movies I’ve already seen. I just love seeing some of my favourite actors/characters again and I love being able to predict when exactly the perfect punchline or hilarious moment will arrive. I also enjoy the process of ‘fangirling’ and ooh-ing and aah-ing over my favourite actors, especially the dashing Tom Hiddleston (he played Loki in the Avengers) or even Bradley Cooper or Ryan Gosling and who can forget Johnny Depp pf Javier Bardem? Yes, I know most of these actors listed are male, but a girl can’t help it. I do adore Scarlett Johansson, Sandra Bullock and Emma Stone, though.

Now if you’re home for a movie night, order yourself some junk food and get settled on the couch with a bunch of pillows and all your remote controls around you. The objective is NOT to get up unless you want to go to the loo, and even that is pushing it. Now I’m going to tell you about a couple of my all-time favourite movies along with movies I have recently seen that I think you should definitely check out. Of course, my tastes and yours may not exactly match, so you can always just go for your favourites instead.

My all time favourite movies include:

1. The Avengers. Action, superheroes, killer special effects and Tom Hiddleston. Need I say more? This movie is one of the best I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. An incredible star cast, a brilliant plot with good humour and some feels, The Avengers is definitely my unbeatable number one.

 

2. She’s The Man. This movie combines two of my favourite things: comedy and Shakespeare. Amanda Bynes is absolutely brilliant in the lead and god do I miss her. This movie is a modern-day version of William Shakespeare’s ‘Twelfth Night’ and will have you in splits. A must must must see.

3. The Proposal. Sandra Bullock is a wonderful actor and she proves it yet again here in her role as the Super-Bitch Boss. Yeah, I’ll admit Ryan Reynolds does nothing but stand there and look pretty, but this movie is definitely something you need to see.

 

4.Olympus Has Fallen. I just saw this movie yesterday and loved it. It’s got Gerard Butler and Aaron Eckhart, so it’s already a win. Again, great special effects and lots of action and not really for those who are squeamish. It’s a little too USA-centric, but then again it is an American movie and a very well made one at that.

5. Hope Springs. Starring Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones, it’s about an elderly couple who are trying to bring the magic back into their marriage. It’s sweet and quite funny, but again not for the whole family.

6. English Vinglish. So I’m now going into a couple of the Hindi movies I adore. If you haven’t seen it yet, this movie is a must watch. Sridevi has done a wonderful job as an ordinary Indian housewife who is on a journey to empower herself through finally learning English.

7. Karan Arjun. Yes this movie may be the cheesiest of all the cheeses you have had, but it’s a classic. It’s from back when Salman Khan was still tolerable and Shah Rukh Khan’s pre-plastic surgery days and is about two brothers who are reincarnated to take revenge after they were murdered in cold blood. A little unrealistic (by a little I mean a lot) but I still love the plot, the music and the sound effects that go all ‘dhishum dhishum’.

8. Taare Zameen Par. This movie is perfect if you’re looking for a good cry. One of Aamir Khan’s best movies to date, it’s about a little boy who is dyslexic and does his best to cope with the situation. He is sent to boarding school since his parents believe he’s misbehaving, but he was actually dyslexic and no one finds out until the new art teacher (Aamir Khan) recognizes the signs. A story of learning and love, my dad shed a few tears in the theater too.

9. Om Shanti Om. I actually really loved this movie. I seem to have a thing for plots that include reincarnation, and I have no idea why. It’s based in the 70s and is about how a small time actor (Shah Rukh Khan) falls for a star actress (Deepika Padukone), but ends up witnessing her murder and also getting killed in the process. He is reincarnated and becomes a top actor in the present day but is plagued with images of his previous life and starts trying to catch his lost love’s murderer. Shah Rukh Khan may also have a thing for these kind of movies actually. I really love the colours and the sets and the songs are quite lovely, even though Deepika Padukone looks like a mannequin throughout the film.

10. Delhi Belly.Words cannot describe how funny this movie is. Comedy with a serious plot and MAGNIFICENT direction. I really can’t ask for more. Add Imran Khan to the mix and you have an instant hit. I love how genuine the characters in this movie are and how realistic the situation is as compared to reincarnation and murder. A MUST watch.

So there you have it, that’s my list. Now I’m sorry if I haven’t named some of the more recent Bollywood movies, but have you seen what they come up with these days? Complete and utter, mass-produced, bullshit. What is the difference between Salman Khan’s character in ‘Dabangg’ and Ajay Devgn’s character in ‘Singham’? I’ll tell you. NOTHING. There’s no plot, no characterization and definitely no substance. What’s the similarity? They both made a shit-ton of money, which I don’t understand. I have no words. None.

In any case, I hope you check out some of the movies on my list and maybe enjoy them. Don’t forget to order that junk food though! Have a great Friday night.

Cheers! : )