One of the inevitable consequences of being a feminist, I’ve realized is the fact that you will receive shit from every party on earth about your beliefs. That’s fine with me. And even I know Feminism has its flaws. But honestly, which fucking ideology doesn’t? I am well aware of the arguments that it is radical, dominated by the privileged middle class, raises its voice against problems that might not be too important, and of course can’t take a joke. I even agree with some of it sometimes. But what I am concerned with is the idea it started out with. The idea that enabled me to get an education and do as I please. The idea that I am just as good as any man when it comes to work.
When you live in a country like India, you will see so many instances of gender bias and discrimination, that it impossible to not be a feminist. Case in point: The Delhi rape case that occurred almost a year ago. Not only that, but the comments people made against her and her “lifestyle”. When something like that happens, I don’t find your jokes about rape funny.
I get it. People are more offended by rape than murder. If you use the word rape in your meme or as a synonym for decimate, I will get more angry than if you use death or murder. It’s kind of a good point, but we all pick and choose the battles we fight. And this is the one I have chosen, so I am sorry but I will always go with the issues closest to my heart than the others.
Let me give you an example. This isn’t even an issue of feminism, but I am offended by it because I am a human being with some semblance of a conscience. All my indian readers will probably be aware of this joke going around in april.
I think the state of humanity can be summarized in that second comment.
Are you seriously equating male-rape to homosexuality?
I mean honestly, doesn’t your ass get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth?
The worst part is this joke went viral because people thought it was funny. And no, I will not take it lightly. I do not find it funny. I am not even speaking as a feminist but as a human being.
Let me tell you of another incident that occurred just the other day. On a whatsapp group I am a part of, a member posted this picture for the purpose of “humour”.
Do you expect me to find this funny? Do you expect me to not see how wrong this picture is? Pardon me for not being that superficial.
!. You are effectively sexualizing and trivializing a disease thousands of women suffer. So congratulations there, buddy.
2. You are objectifying and demeaning women while doing it.
Really, you deserve a medal. The response when you try to stand up to something like this is so predictable now it’s almost funny. I have no sense of humour. I can’t take a joke. I am not fun.
The worst part is that women themselves can’t understand the gravity or something. Women themselves find something like this funny. The backlash towards feminism comes from women themselves most of the time. And I just don’t understand this.
WHY? I must ask you, why? Why do you find objectification of your body funny? Why can’t you notice that they are making fun of a disease women exclusively suffer from? You are getting strangled by patriarchal notions. Why can’t you see that?
I don’t even know how to respond when women themselves tell me I can’t take a joke. What am I supposed to say to that?
Feminism is a way for privileged women to get perks when they don’t even work. This is a criticism I have heard way too much. To which I respond, THAT’S HOW OUR FUCKING SOCIETY WORKS. The elite always have the greatest voice. It is a failure of society and the way we function, so don’t be ignorant and blame it on feminism. When the other classes get a voice, the women will get a voice too. Read Fall of Giants by Ken Follet to understand western feminism better. Case in point: The Wimbledon Controversy. I will agree with this. You have to work to get what you want. Women should play the same number of sets to get the same prize money.
Oh, I’m quoting only western examples. Don’t worry. There are plenty of desi problems for you guys too.
But here’s a little fact, do you know a female farmer in India is not acknowledged as a farmer? She is only known as a farmer’s wife. Let that sink in. No matter how much she toils in the fields everyday, no matter how much she does in addition to looking after her children at home, her worth is only defined by her relation to a man. So don’t tell me that women have rights and privileges.
Okay, if you have a problem with the profession I have chosen, how about the Film Industry? It is a well-known fact that women in the Indian Film Industry are not paid as much as men. Don’t tell me that men in the industry work harder because that is bullshit. And don’t tell me that upper-middle class and high-class women are privileged and have nothing to complain about.
To be fair, I actually used to be ignorant and I didn’t call myself a feminist because of all its flaws. But then I realized, that there are many good things about the movement I actually agree with. It’s a matter of picking and choosing. Just because I am not a radical, doesn’t mean I don’t believe in gender equality.
I think this video pretty much sums up my feminist stance. Chimamanda has become one of my favourite people even though I haven’t read any of her books. I am desperate to though. You should check out her other Ted Talk on “The Danger of a Single Story”.
Mango Mustache 